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Can anyone name a movie that came out recently starring a black man who wasn’t a sociopath? Someone who had a terrific screen presence, like a young Paul Robeson? And he portrayed a character who was complex and fully drawn? Did he respect black women, too?

Anybody see that movie? I didn’t. But surely it’s out there somewhere, right? An alternative to those Tyler Perry films portraying black men as Satan’s gift to black women? But where is it?

Maybe I didn’t hear about it because of all the buzz over Perry’s “For Colored Girls,” which opened Friday and is based on Ntozake Shange’s 1975 stage play, “For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf.”

Or maybe I didn’t hear about it because I was retching too loudly after seeing “For Colored Girls” – and reading so many inexplicably glowing reviews.

“This movie is powerful,” Demetria L. Lucas wrote recently in Essence, the nation’s premier magazine for black women. “It is incredible. The performances in it are astonishing, but most of all, this film will leave you lifted.”

Me, I thought the movie should have been renamed: “For Black Men Who Have Considered Homicide After Watching Another Perry Movie.”

“Oscar buzz, breaking news,” read the Hollywood Reporter on Friday. “Will ‘For Colored Girls’ blindside Tyler Perry’s critics?”

Too late. I was blindsided while watching the movie, especially when superstar Janet Jackson appeared onscreen looking like Michael Jackson with breast implants.

“Don’t laugh,” says Shadow and Act, an online publication about black films and filmmakers. ” ‘For Colored Girls,’ an Oscar contender?”

Oscar for what?

In the category for best infection of a black woman with a sexually transmitted disease that renders her infertile. . . . And the winner is: black man.

For best down-low, double-dealing husband who has sex with wife while sneaking around having sex with men on the streets. . . . And the winner is: black man.

For best portrayal of a guy who at first seems nice but turns out to be a rapist. . . . And the winner is – OMG, his third of the night – black man!

“You may need some time alone after viewing ‘For Colored Girls,’ ” wrote Tonya Pendleton for BlackAmericaWeb.com. “Whatever you may think of the fact that it was Tyler Perry who finally brought the award-winning 1974 Ntozake Shange stage production to the big screen, it will move you.”

So will ex-lax.

“You will want to know that two kids get thrown out the window by their father,” wrote Jane Nosonchuk for Hamptonroads.com. “The scene is well done.”

Do I hear another Oscar nomination?

“The men in the movie are all bad guys except for the cop,” Nosonchuk wrote. “They are a means to an end rather than any lead characters. Also, a back-room abortion may disturb some.”

You think?

What an awful year for movies featuring black actors. Samuel L. Jackson in “Unthinkable.” Thoughtless would be more like it. “Brooklyn’s Finest” had a nice cast, with Don Cheadle and Wesley Snipes. But Richard Gere and Ethan Hawke got top billing. “Our Family Wedding” with Forrest Whitaker was okay. But how many black wedding comedies can you watch? Even preacher T.D. Jakes is coming out with his own copycat wedding movie next year.

Surely Spike Lee and Denzel Washington could team up for a sweeping historical drama – say, a black sharecropper’s son, educated in a one-room schoolhouse built by slaves in Alabama, who grows up to become one of Wall Street’s most powerful CEOs.

Smarter than Gordon Gekko, but more complex. With a cameo appearance by former Merrill Lynch chief executive Stanley O’Neal.

Maybe you saw the kind of movie I’m talking about. If not, maybe it’s time to make one.

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Are you a lonely drag queen that wishes you were a woman?  Or are you just a man who wants to have a few laughs by wearing a fake vagina.  Either way, you’re in luck.

Now retailing for $180.  And what cracks me up is that they include the asshole…

just in case you lost the one you had.

It’s no secret that a man’s sexual function declines with age. As his testosterone level falls, it takes more to arouse him. Once aroused, he takes longer to get an erection and to achieve orgasm and, following orgasm, to become aroused again. Age brings marked declines in semen volume and sperm quality. Erectile dysfunction (ED), or impotence, is clearly linked to advancing years; between the ages of 40 and 70, the percentage of potent men falls from 60% to roughly 30%, studies show.

Men also experience a gradual decline in urinary function. Studies show that a man’s urine stream weakens over time, the consequence of weakened bladder muscles and, in many cases, prostate enlargement.

And that’s not all. Recent research confirms what men have long suspected and, in some cases, feared: that the penis itself undergoes significant changes as a man moves from his sexual prime — around age 30 for most guys — into middle age and on to his dotage. These changes include:

Appearance. There are two major changes. The head of the penis (glans) gradually loses its purplish color, the result of reduced blood flow. And there is a slow loss of pubic hair. “As testosterone wanes, the penis gradually reverts to its prepubertal, mostly hairless, state,” says Irwin Goldstein, MD, director of sexual medicine at Alvarado Hospital in San Diego and editor-in-chief of The Journal of Sexual Medicine.

Penis Size.  Weight gain is common as men grow older. As fat accumulates on the lower abdomen, the apparent size of the penis changes. “A large prepubic fat pad makes the penile shaft look shorter,” says Ira Sharlip, MD, clinical professor of urology at the University of California, San Francisco.

“In some cases, abdominal fat all but buries the penis,” says Ronald Tamler, MD, PhD, co-director of the Men’s Health Program at Mount Sinai Hospital in New York City. “One way I motivate my overweight patients is by telling them that they can appear to gain up to an inch in size simply by losing weight.”

In addition to this apparent shrinkage (which is reversible) the penis tends to undergo an actual (and irreversible) reduction in size. The reduction — in both length and thickness — typically isn’t dramatic but may be noticeable. “If a man’s erect penis is 6 inches long when he is in his 30s, it might be 5 or 5-and-a-half inches when he reaches his 60s or 70s,” says Goldstein.

What causes the penis to shrink? At least two mechanisms are involved, experts say. One is the slow deposition of fatty substances (plaques) inside tiny arteries in the penis, which impairs blood flow to the organ. This process, known as atherosclerosis, is the same one that contributes to blockages inside the coronary arteries — a leading cause of heart attack.

Goldstein explains that another mechanism involves the gradual buildup of relatively inelastic collagen (scar tissue) within the stretchy fibrous sheath that surrounds the erection chambers. Erections occur when these chambers fill with blood. Blockages within the penile arteries — and increasingly inelastic chambers — mean smaller erections.

As penis size changes, so do the testicles. “Starting around age 40, the testicles definitely begin to shrink,” says Goldstein. The testicles of a 30-year-old man might measure 3 centimeters in diameter, he says; those of a 60-year-old, perhaps only 2 centimeters.

Curvature. If penile scar tissue accumulates unevenly, the penis can become curved. This condition, known as Peyronie’s disease, occurs most commonly in middle age. It can cause painful erections and make intercourse difficult. The condition may require surgery.

Sensitivity. Numerous studies have shown that the penis becomes less sensitive over time. This can make it hard to achieve an erection and to have an orgasm. Whether it renders orgasm less pleasurable remains an open question.

If there’s a silver lining to these presumably unwelcome changes, it’s this: Experts say these changes need not ruin your erotic life. One recent study involving 2,213 men in Olmstead County, Minn., showed significant declines in erectile function, libido, and ejaculatory function — but only moderate decreases in sexual satisfaction. “Older men may be less likely to perceive these declines as a problem and be dissatisfied,” concluded the study’s authors.

As Goldstein puts it, “The most important ingredient for a satisfying sex life is the ability to satisfy your partner, and that doesn’t require peak sexual performance or a big penis. As long as a man’s partner enjoys sexual intercourse, he feels like a god.”

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Protect your assets in comfort with the SKECHERS Work: Shape-ups X Wear Slip Resistant – Magnate Safety Toe shoe. Smooth or scuff resistant leather and synthetic upper in a safety toe slip resistant…

Skecher’s  Shape Ups

Studies Show Epidemic That Could Be Stemmed by Cervical Cancer Vaccine Gardasil

For years now, doctors have urged young women to be vaccinated against the human papilloma virus (HPV), which is believed to cause cervical cancer.

But now, growing research in Europe and the United States is implicating HPV in a rising number of cases of head and neck cancers in men, and many doctors are recommending that all boys be vaccinated as well.

Doctors say that changing sexual behaviors — earlier sex, more partners and especially oral sex — are contributing to a new epidemic of orpharyngeal squamous cell cancers, those of the throat, tonsils and base of the tongue.

These cancers can be deadly, and are striking men at a younger age and in increasing numbers.

“There’s a lag in information,” said Dr. John Deeken, a medical oncologist at Georgetown University. “We physicians have done a poor job of advertising the fact that boys and girls should have the vaccine.”

“This kind of cancer traditionally affects males who have been smoking and drinking all their life, and now in their mid-60s they are getting head and neck cancer,” he said. “However, HPV cancer we are seeing in younger patients who have never smoked.”

Two decades ago, about 20 percent of all oral cancers were HPV-related, but today that number is more than 50 percent, according to studies published by the American Association for Cancer Research.

Similarly high rates have also been seen in Europe, where a new Swedish study has shown a strong correlation between oral cancers and oral sex. Oddly, the rising rates have not been seen yet in the Southern Hemisphere in Australia and New Zealand.

Each year, more than 30,000 new cases of cancer of the oral cavity and pharynx are diagnosed, and more than 8,000 people die from oral cancer, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

Cure rates are higher than for smoking-related throat cancers, but still only 50 percent.

Today, men are more likely to get oral cancer than are women, but as the epidemic grows, that could soon change.

“We expect in head and neck cancers that 85 percent are men and 15 percent are women,” said Deeken. “But over the coming years that could become equal.”

“It’s going to take a couple of decades to see the trend turning around,” he said. “The epidemiological risk factors are past sexual partners as well as marijuana exposure, not just oral sex.”

Human Papilloma Virus Affecting More Men

HPV is the most common sexually-transmitted infection. Those who are infected often have no symptoms and pass it on to their partners through genital contact during vaginal and anal sex. It can also be transmitted during oral sex and, more rarely, during deep kissing through saliva.
PHOTO Growing research in Europe and the United States is implicating the most common sexually transmitted disease in a rising number of cases of oropharyngeal squamous cell cancers and many doctors are recommending that boys be vaccinated, as well.
Research increasingly shows that Human Papilloma Virus (HPV), believed to cause cervical cancer in… Expand
Research increasingly shows that Human Papilloma Virus (HPV), believed to cause cervical cancer in women, may also be causing head and neck cancers in men, perhaps because of an increase in oral sex. Women can be vaccinated against HPV. Many doctors are recommending that boys be vaccinated as well. Collapse
(Digital Vision/Getty Images)

There are more than 100 strains of the virus. Some cause genital warts, but others can result in cell changes that decades later can become cancerous. Each strain is identified by a number; oral and cervical cancers are caused by HPV sub-types 16 and 18.

HPV can also cause cancers of the vulva, vagina, penis and anus, and there is some evidence it is associated with esophageal and lung cancers.

The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved the use of Gardasil for girls in 2006 and for boys for treatment of genital and anal warts in 2009. The vaccine can be given at any age, though it is most effective given young people before any sexual exposure.

Doctors say it could prevent 10,000 more cases of oral cancer a year.

Several deaths associated with the vaccine led doctors to advise caution in the rush to promote widespread use of the vaccine, and doctors say there is a lack of public awareness of its role in preventing cancer.

“With any new vaccine, you have to err on the side of caution, but every year we know more about it,” said Deeken. “But we have to ask the question: What do we do for the spouses and kids of our patients? I don’t see any downside to vaccination at this time. My son and daughter will get it.”

Because humans are the only reservoir for HPV, “it could be eliminated like smallpox,” he said.

The research isn’t new, but it has not received wide attention, perhaps because of taboos associated with oral sex.

Oral sex has become more commonplace; people have more sex partners and have sex earlier in life — all behaviors linked to HPV-related oral cancers, according to a study in the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s (CDC) Emerging Infectious Diseases report.

A study at the Swedish Karolinska Institutet showed the risk of developing oral HPV infection increased with a rise in lifetime oral or vaginal sex partners. It also cited “open mouth kissing.”

The study included 542 American students, and noted similar increases in such cancers in Britain, Finland and The Netherlands.

But Dr. Kevin Cullen, director of University of Maryland’s Marlene and Stewart Greenebaum Cancer Center, is not sure only oral sex is to blame.

“It’s hard for me to believe sexual behaviors have changed that much in 15 to 20 years,” he said. “It may be that as happens, epidemics get enough people infected and an infection begins to take off, and that may have happened with HPV at some point.”

A study Cullen did last year found that HPV-related oral cancer in African Americans were less common than whites, perhaps because of negative cultural attitudes about oral sex.

“But it looks like blacks are beginning to catch up with whites,” said Cullen.

Scientists also don’t know why women tend to develop cervical cancer while men have more throat cancer. “Maybe women are better able to transmit to a man than a man to the oral mucosa of a woman,” said Cullen.

Doctors also think that cancer is likely to develop in the first area of exposure ? in women, usually the vagina. The woman may then develop later immunity in the throat.

But with more oral sex, often before vaginal sex, female throat cancers could increase, they say.

Very little HPV was seen until the 1980s. “It was very rare in our archives,” said Cullen. “But each year we looked, it was more prevalent. Why, no one is really sure.”

And doctors say those numbers have not yet peaked.

“There is increasing evidence that boys as well as girls should be vaccinated,” said Cullen. “Men and women are increasingly going to face the burden of cancer, and we have a tool to prevent it.”

Why the medical community has not fully embraced vaccination is not clear.

“The lead time for development of oral cancer is in decades, so to do definitive studies would take decades to do,” he said. “[The FDA] picked the simpler task of preventing HPV warts in the short time frame.”

Resistance has also come from safety concerns, as well as the fear by some groups that vaccination for a sexually transmitted disease will promote sexual behavior.

Cervical cancer just may just be “sexier” than throat cancer, said Dr. Ranit Mishori, a family physician in the Georgetown University School of Medicine.

“We don’t think about oral cancer except in smokers,” she said. “There is no question HPV is the cause of most oral cancers, but it’s partly an awareness issue relating to our kids’ sex life, and who wants to talk about oral sex?”

Convincing parents to vaccinate their sons as well as their daughters is a “hard sell,” said Mishori.

“Oftentimes it’s the moms who take the kids to the doctor, and we tell them we have this great vaccine that can prevent their daughter from getting cervical cancer,” she said. “Moms can easily relate.”

But it’s harder to tell her “to give her son three painful shots so that he won’t transmit it to his girlfriend in the future and might not transmit cancer or have oral cancer himself,” said Mishori.

As for potential side effects with the vaccine, Mishori said those concerns are “pretty minor compared to the potential.”

“It hasn’t been around too long, but it’s been tested on thousands of women,” she said. “The fact that the vaccine prevents cancer is astounding in itself.”

Source

THE secret of a long life is abstinence from sex, scientists revealed yesterday.
A team from the University of Sheffield believes nuns and spinsters who stay away from the pleasures of the flesh outlive sexually active adults.

The “no sex” strategy for survival came from results found studying the sex lives of beetles at the university’s department of animal and plant sciences. They discovered that mealworm beetles, which mate every day, die young, while those which avoid mating live for much longer.

Dr Michael Siva-Jothey, the leader of the team, said: “Nuns tend to have a longer lifespan than women with children and most people know of someone with a maiden aunt who seems to live forever. The question is, why?

“The beetles which mate die sooner than the beetles which don’t mate. The mechanism is not the same in humans, but the principle is the same.

“In beetles, mating released hormones needed to produce sperm in a male or eggs in a female and that had a negative effect on the immune system.

“The assumption then is that if the immune system is downgraded, that leads to a loss of longevity. It is fair to assume that would be the same with other organisms including humans, because mating has a dual effect – a positive one, but then a negative one on the immune system.

“That is important to evolutionary biologists. The goal of evolution is not to live longer but to leave as many offspring as possible so if you produce a lot of offspring and die young then you have done your job in evolutionary terms.

“It makes perfect sense if you try to understand how sexually transmitted disease evolved and spread. The best time for a disease to find a host is during sexual activity when the immune system is weakened.”

The findings are just one in a long line of evidence that suggest that males live longer if they abstain from sex.

In 1997, Dr David Gems, a geneticist at University College London, found that males who remain celibate are more likely to survive into a ripe old age.

He discovered that males are actually designed to live longer, but any help from nature is wiped out by the pursuit of sex.

Dr Gems reached the controversial conclusion while studying nematode worms.

* Source: The Scotsman

Heard this and thought I’d share.  His voice is so smooth.

Oral sex. In the ’90s, we pondered the question, is it really even sex? Today, we know the answer: Does it really even matter? It feels good. And according to a recent survey, the majority of sexually active men and women feel that giving and receiving oral sex is important in a relationship (to which we say: duh).

The same survey also “discovered” that the way you or your partner “tastes” can be a real obstacle to whether you’ll get (or give) some south-of-the-border action. Which reminds us of that “Sex and the City” episode where Samantha is bedding a dude whose spunk is funky. She tries to remedy the situation by getting him to imbibe wheat grass juice, a supposed cure, but alas, in true Samantha fashion, she calls it quits and moves on to her next victim before she can test the conclusion of her little experiment.

Too bad there wasn’t a pill you could pop that would improve the taste of sexual secretions. Oh, wait! There is! One created by the same company that released the above survey results, natch. Lifestyle Nutrition recently announced the sale of BOP supplements, easy-to-swallow (pun intended) pills formulated with ingredients such as banana, pineapple, vanilla, cinnamon and ginger, which are “delivered through a unique lipid matrix made from flaxseed oil, safflower seed oil and sesame seed oil.” Apparently the foods we consume affect the way our bodily secretions taste, and this pill, when taken two hours before sexual intimacy, has been proven to affect the taste of secretions positively. (Where in the world do they find the people to participate in these studies?)

So, what do you think: Would a pill that improves the taste make you more likely to go downtown?

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Positive thinking is so firmly enshrined in our culture that knocking it is a little like attacking motherhood or apple pie. Many persons swear by positive thinking and quite a few have been helped by it. Nevertheless, it is not a very effective tool and can be downright harmful in some cases. There are much better ways to get the benefits that positive thinking allegedly provides.

Perhaps the statement that best exemplifies positive thinking is “When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade.” It seems so self-evident that this is a good thing that we never question the wisdom of the adage. But it does not take a whole lot of digging to unearth the flaws in this reasoning.

First, did fate really hand you a lemon or was this merely your initial, unthinking response? Second, is a lemon really a bad thing, something that you would rather not have, but now that you do have it you will somehow salvage something by making lemonade? Finally, it is quite stressful to be handed a lemon until such time as you figure out how to make lemonade. Do you really have to go through this phase?

No matter what happens to us in life we tend to think of it as “good” or “bad”. And most of us tend to use the “bad” label three to ten times as often as the “good” label. And when we say something is bad, the odds grow overwhelming that we will experience it as such. And that is when we need positive thinking. We have been given something bad, a real lemon, and we better scramble and make some lemonade out of it and salvage something out of this “bad” situation.

How tiring and tiresome!

Now think back on your own life. Can you recall instances of something that you initially thought was a bad thing that turned out to be not so bad after all or perhaps even a spectacularly good thing? Like the time you just missed a train and had to wait a whole hour for the next one and it was horrible except that your neighbor also missed it so you talked for the first time and a beautiful friendship developed. You will find many instances in your life, some of them very significant such as the job you desperately wanted but didn’t get only to find that a much better one came by and you would not have been able to accept it if not for the earlier rejection.

Now lets propose something radical and revolutionary. Lets propose that, no matter what happens to you, you do not stick a bad thing label on it. No matter what. You are fired from your job…your mortgage lender sends you a foreclosure notice . . . your spouse files for divorce . . . or whatever. This seems so far-fetched as to be laughable. Of course these are horrible tragedies and terrible things to happen. Or are they? Is it possible, just possible, that you have been conditioned to think of these happenings as unspeakable tragedies and hence experience them as such?

Viktor Frankl in his book Man’s Search for Meaning narrates the tale of the beautiful girl of privilege who was grateful to be in a concentration camp because she was able to connect with a spiritual side of her that she never knew existed. Observations like this led Frankl into his life’s work of determining why, when faced with extreme adversity, some persons positively flourish while others disintegrate.

Many who rise so triumphantly never label what they go through as bad and lament over it. They simply take it as a given as if they were a civil engineer surveying the landscape through which a road is to be built. In this view, a swamp is not a bad thing. It is merely something that has to be addressed in the construction plan.

And if you never label something as bad, then you don’t need positive thinking and all of the stress associated with getting something bad and experiencing it as such till you figure out how to make lemonade out of it simply goes away.

That is the huge pebble in the positive thinking shoe. “This is bad. Really bad. It’s a lemon. But somehow I will make some lemonade out of it and then perhaps it won’t be so bad.” First you think its bad and then you think you will somehow make it less bad and there is a strong undercurrent that you are playing games and kidding yourself. Some people succeed. Many don’t. And those who don’t are devastated that the model they were trying so hard to build caved in on them. That’s why positive thinking can sometimes be harmful.

Can you actually go through life without labeling what happens to you as good or bad? Sure you can. You have to train yourself to do this. You have been conditioned to think of things as bad or good. You can de-condition yourself. It is neither easy nor fast but it is possible.

Lets say you break your leg. There is stuff you have to do like go to an orthopedist and get it set and go to therapy when the cast comes off. But all the rest of the stuff you pick up “Why did this have to happen to me? Bad things always come my way. I am in such pain. Who will hold the world up now that I am disabled?” is simply baggage. You don’t have to pick up this load and the only reason you do is because you were never told that you didn’t have to.

I am telling you now. Don’t pick up that useless burden. Don’t label what happens to you as bad. Then you won’t need positive thinking and much of the stress in your life will simply disappear. Poof! Just like that.

The Awakening
(Author unknown)

A time comes in your life when you finally get…when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out…ENOUGH1 Enough fighting and crying and blaming and struggling to hold on. Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening.

You realize it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to magically appear over the next horizon.

You realize that in the real world there aren’t always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you…and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are…and that’s OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions.

You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself…and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

Your stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you – or didn’t do for you – and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.

You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and everything isn’t always about you.

So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself…and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties…and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with.

You learn that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” looking for you next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don’t know everything, it’s not you job to save the world and that you can’t teach a pig to sing. You learn the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You learn that alone does not mean lonely.

You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.

You learn that your body really is your temple. You begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drinking more water, and take more time to exercise.

You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You learn that no one can do it all alone, and that it’s OK to risk asking for help.

You learn the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.

You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people…and you lean not to always take it personally.

You learn that nobody’s punishing you and everything isn’t always somebody’s fault. It’s just life happening. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

You lean that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Then, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than you heart’s desire.

You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.

Finally, with courage in you heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

This super soft, portable penis looking thing, which is actually a germ-resistant medical grade silicone. This is something you want to try at home over the toilet before you actually NEED to use this.  It comes with tissue; easy to clean and also comes with a mini-bag to put in until you get a chance to wash it out.

It was originally developed by an oral surgeon and medical device expert from Minnesota. It was created for general convenience and as an option for women with hip and knee surgeries and other conditions.

These types of things have been used in Europe for years, so it’s about time we had this luxury in the States. If you’re an active woman always on the go, loves outdoor activities, and road trips this device is for you.

Pros: Portable, small, easy to use, not messy at all, good price, high quality, comes with tissue and a little baggy, and fun to use!

Cons: difficult to find, most likely you have to order online depending on the area you live

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