The Bisous Pure Belgian Chocolate Edible Anus is made from the finest chocolate from Belgium crafted into an eerily accurate replica of an anus. One consumer said it was the best anus he’d ever paid for.

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Some genius has created the Ultimate Pleasure and Sex Training Machine using a vibrator and a ThighMaster, that weird legs exercise spring-based contraption that invaded the ’80s like a plague of Galaga space aliens with a Spanish Fly overdose. The how-to seems quite simple, but the best thing, other than the looks (which indeed is like a Galaga alien spaceship), is their description on how to exercise in seated, lying and upper body positions (NSFW):

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For thousands of years, people have been using so-called aphrodisiacs — herbs, spices, fruits, vegetables, insects, animal organs, and so on — to enhance their love lives. How effective are these stimulants, really, at increasing sexual desire, drive, and performance? According to the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA), not very effective at all. In fact, in 1989 the FDA asserted that there was no scientific evidence that aphrodisiacs have any effect on libido whatsoever. Still, many people claim that certain foods put them in the mood. Here’s a list of legendary, edible “aphrodisiacs” that are safe (and healthy!) for you and your partner to enjoy. So give them a try — it can’t hurt!

Long for the sound of a female having an orgasm while in bed? Well, it is time to make that dream a reality, my friend. Not an actual, living woman mind you—I mean, let’s be realistic here. I’m referring to this sleek-looking Orgasmo Clock. Just set the alarm and you will be gently coaxed from your slumber with the soothing sounds of a woman getting her rocks off. Not as good as the real thing, but certainly better than the irritating alarm from most clocks. Available for $25.

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Penis Pasta increases in size when cooked! That means more bang for your buck.

Penis Pasta is made from the finest durum wheat, and gives a zest to any bachelorette party dish! There are two Raunchy Recipes on the back: Big Balls With Steamy Sauce and Penis Pasta, and the Hot Spicy Toss.

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Designed to help fight the spread of AIDS by encouraging the correct and speedy application of condoms without tears or snags, this lifeguard-looking device, dubbed “Pronto,” was named South Africa’s “Most Beautiful Object” by Dutch designer Jurgen Bey.

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Why should girls have all the fun with their candy panties?! A lip-smacking elasticated candy cock-ring that’ll look mighty perty on his manhood. Just find someone to nibble it off!

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The Sheath with Urinating Bladder Vee-String Vagina Prosthesis is a latex prosthetic vagina, specifically designed to provide an ultra-realistic vaginal appearance while hiding the male genitals.
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The “Jesus Jackhammer” dildo is produced by Divine Interventions, a venture owned and operated by Nigel Ramsbottom in Oakland, CA. He’s been producing the religiously-themed sex toys for six years.