The Bisous Pure Belgian Chocolate Edible Anus is made from the finest chocolate from Belgium crafted into an eerily accurate replica of an anus. One consumer said it was the best anus he’d ever paid for.

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Some genius has created the Ultimate Pleasure and Sex Training Machine using a vibrator and a ThighMaster, that weird legs exercise spring-based contraption that invaded the ’80s like a plague of Galaga space aliens with a Spanish Fly overdose. The how-to seems quite simple, but the best thing, other than the looks (which indeed is like a Galaga alien spaceship), is their description on how to exercise in seated, lying and upper body positions (NSFW):

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“When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.”

– Mark Twain, 1835-1910, American Writer and Humorist

I’ll admit it.  I’m on the of people you here about that didn’t get any matches from EHarmony.  Since I’m bored and the commercial said it would actually possible find “my type”, thought I’d give it a try.

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A boyfriend gets tired of his girlfriend’s crap so he decides to end the argument with a bullz eye punch to her vagina.

via Gerbick 

For thousands of years, people have been using so-called aphrodisiacs — herbs, spices, fruits, vegetables, insects, animal organs, and so on — to enhance their love lives. How effective are these stimulants, really, at increasing sexual desire, drive, and performance? According to the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA), not very effective at all. In fact, in 1989 the FDA asserted that there was no scientific evidence that aphrodisiacs have any effect on libido whatsoever. Still, many people claim that certain foods put them in the mood. Here’s a list of legendary, edible “aphrodisiacs” that are safe (and healthy!) for you and your partner to enjoy. So give them a try — it can’t hurt!

Not only functional, but also therapeutic, this five-piece knife set plus holder makes for the perfect gift and a guaranteed conversation piece. Constructed with heavy-gauge durable stainless steel, each knife offers a razor-sharp precision cutting blade and a hollow, ergonomically designed comfortable handle. The knives include an 8-inch chef’s knife, an 8-inch bread knife, an 8-inch carver, a 5-inch utility knife, and a 3-1/2-inch paring knife. The included figurine block not only stores the knives, but also provides a rather unorthodox way to take out frustrations. Made of heavy-duty ABS plastic, the whimsically unique holder features an anonymous effigy design that can be dedicated to anyone. The holder also provides an innovative knife-suspension system with individual protective knife sleeves that prevent blade exposure.

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Make your next party painfully amusing by inviting OUCH!, the voodoo-it-yourself toothpick holder. Perfect for finger food, emergency hexes, and jump-starting the good times.

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Long for the sound of a female having an orgasm while in bed? Well, it is time to make that dream a reality, my friend. Not an actual, living woman mind you—I mean, let’s be realistic here. I’m referring to this sleek-looking Orgasmo Clock. Just set the alarm and you will be gently coaxed from your slumber with the soothing sounds of a woman getting her rocks off. Not as good as the real thing, but certainly better than the irritating alarm from most clocks. Available for $25.

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Penis Pasta increases in size when cooked! That means more bang for your buck.

Penis Pasta is made from the finest durum wheat, and gives a zest to any bachelorette party dish! There are two Raunchy Recipes on the back: Big Balls With Steamy Sauce and Penis Pasta, and the Hot Spicy Toss.

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