“Dragons” are self-defeating thoughts that come up over and over again as repeating themes, sometimes with variations but usually easily identifiable on close inspection. These tools can help us think logically and rationally whenever we have created painful statements and the dragons are causing mischief.

Dispute your beliefs that you are not lovable and thus worthless
While it is very nice to be loved, Paul Hauck points out that as adults we can survive without love. It can be our preference to have people in our lives that love us. To avoid feeding the dragons, we need to take care not to turn this into a demand (”I must have love!”). Furthermore, nobody has the right to judge our worth, including ourselves. We are worthy simply by the fact that we have been born.

Learn never to blame, rate, or judge

Blame leads to anger either against ourselves or others. To avoid this destructive feeling – anger – we need to learn not to blame ourselves and not to blame others.  To overcome this blaming-game, we can learn to not judge ourselves or others but rather judge only our actions. We might have done something bad (or self-defeating), yet this does not make us a bad person.

Start your life now and stop waiting for a soul mate
Modern society has created the myth of the soul mate. There is no perfect match out there, so move on and start enjoying your life – with or without a partner (and there’s no soul either: when you die, you’re dead, so enjoy life while you can!). This myth perpetuates the idea that we are incomplete without a partner, not a full adult. It also suggests that we cannot truly be happy unless we find “our other half.”  Happiness requires work on our part, not a cure-all partner. To expect a magical change in our lives simply from one person is absurd and puts too much of a burden on that person. Kay Trimberger identified six building blocks of a happy life as a single (or for anybody, really).  Leading a satisfying life can be a helpful anti-dote to the dragons.

The most important suggestion Hauck has, slightly adapted: We have the right – even the obligation – to accept ourselves despite all our dragons that have set up camp feeding us self-defeating thoughts. It will take some time and lots of thought disputing to tame those dragons and turn them into pets. They will still try to hijack our thinking, so we need to remain vigilant. The payoff is immense, though: self-acceptance is the foundation of a happy life.

More Here

Spring is guaranteed to come. I can bloom no matter what the weather, because I am growing spiritually each day. Today I take time to notice how I have bloomed so beautifully despite my circumstances. I am capable of reaching for the sun and sky because that is my natural state. I am reaching upward every day and do so joyfully, knowing I am grounded in the life cycle of spiritual development.

From “The Women’s Book of Empowerment: 323 Affirmations That Change Everyday Problems into Moments of Potential,” by Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D.

More affirmations here

So is apathy part of depression? The DSM is virtually silent on the topic, as is the depression literature. Depression is generally characterized by too much emotion, but the DSM implicitly acknowledges we can experience too little. One of the two major depression symptoms is loss of interest or pleasure, such as in a hobby. Basically, we stop caring.

What’s missing here is that lack of caring doesn’t necessarily stop at pleasure (see article). We can also become desensitized to grief or to something bad happening, but we’re not likely to see psychiatry weigh in on this any time soon.

Read more Here

You know you are in a healthy, intimate relationship when you have created an environment where:

1. I can be me.
2. You can be you.
3. We can be us.
4. I can grow.
5. You can grow.
6. We can grow together.

A healthy relationship is not a power struggle. The two of you don’t have to think the same way about things.

More Here

Red Poppy

————————————————-

“Golden Showers” Climbing Rose

————————————————-

Bearded Iris

————————————————-

Lil Snoop by my fish pond.
============================================
*Click on the picture to see a larger version

*Click on the words below the pic to get more info on the plant.

By Edwin Harkness Spina

Probably the most debilitating emotion that humans must confront is that of fear. Fear confuses. Fear paralyzes. Fear prevents you from thinking clearly, accessing your spiritual gifts and being who you truly are.

Fear is the anticipation of future pain. It’s been said that 90% of humans are motivated to avoid pain, while only 10% seek pleasure. It’s no surprise that we suffer from fear. We’ve been trained to fear from an early age. Don’t play in traffic – fear of getting run over. Don’t talk to strangers – fear of being abducted. Don’t misbehave or Mommy won’t love you – fear of abandonment.

As we grow older, we learn new fears: Fear of not being loved. Fear of being rejected. Fear of not having enough. Fear of being unworthy or inadequate. Fear of making a mistake. Fear of being restricted. Fear of getting fired. Fear of being annihilated by nuclear-armed terrorists.

Every day, we are bombarded with new fear-based messages by advertisers, politicians and the media. It’s easy to understand why: Fearful people are easy to control.

Fear is one of humanity’s most primitive emotions, triggering the adrenaline rush associated with the fight or flight response to danger. In life-threatening situations, this is helpful, better preparing you to do battle or to escape. But in non-lethal situations, fear clouds judgment and encourages you to REACT – rather than carefully consider alternatives – thus ensuring a less than optimal response to your problem.

Even worse, attachment to fear inhibits your ability to tap into your innermost self. Connecting with your inner master requires you to be balanced and your brain hemispheres be in synch. Fear causes your brain to automatically return to its dominant side – logical or emotional – again, ensuring unbalanced input into solving your problem.

Fear is a low vibration, dense emotion. Clinging to this negative, energy-draining emotion guarantees you will be unable to transcend to higher states of consciousness, characterized by higher vibration emotions such as love, joy, peace and happiness. You can’t take your baggage to the higher worlds, so eliminating fear is critical.

All people, even warriors, have some degree of fear. What separates warriors from timid souls is not their inability to recognize danger. What makes some people warriors is their willingness to act in the face of fear. By repeated experience, warriors come to know that fear dissolves with conscious action.

Action has another benefit. It focuses you in the Now. By definition, fear is the anticipation of future pain, that is, in the future – not in the Now. Acting keeps you focused in the Now, which is how you reach higher states of consciousness – where time is malleable and fear does not exist.

As a 17-year old youth driving our family car with my new driver’s license, I remember being threatened by a crazed driver on a deserted highway. It happened so quickly, I had no time to become fearful. Everything began moving in slow motion, giving me time to observe the situation. I had a bigger car, more horsepower and, if need be, I could run him off the road. I accelerated and left him behind. Only years later did I realize that by acting in the Now, time had stretched to assist me.

Look at your life and observe where you are stuck. Likely the cause is fear, in some form or another.

Ask yourself: What is the worst thing that can happen to you if you act and confront your fears? Will you look foolish? Will your self image suffer? Will you be rejected?

Recognize that all of these fears are ego-based. Your true self is not affected by any of these consequences.

In addition to dissolving fear and placing you in the Now, consciously choosing a course of action will take the focus off of you and your ego, and places it on the task at hand.

So what to do? Begin simply by taking small steps. If you have a social anxiety disorder, you don’t start to conquer your fear by signing up to address the UN. You begin by attending a meeting of people that share your interests. You don’t even have to speak; just be there. If you immerse yourself in a subject that you love, you will lose yourself, you will have fun, and you will be in the Now, as you act or interact with others.

Remember, also, that failing to act will compound your problem. To protect your ego, you may come up with justifications for why you didn’t do anything. You may convince yourself it was prudent, smart, unimportant, wouldn’t matter, etc. Soon, you have convinced yourself that you did the ‘right’ thing. This makes it harder to act in the future. Recognize that it is your ego that is busy justifying your inaction, not your true self. It is a self-reinforcing, bad habit you are developing.

You can nip this habit in the bud by bringing conscious awareness to your problem and then acting. People that act in accord with their true self are not constrained by fear. They are not driven by their egos, and consequently are free to do what they like. These people are charismatic. They act from their innermost self. They are unconcerned with how others perceive them. They are not controlled by others. They are their own person, free to love and be loved.

The choice is yours. Love or Fear. Clarity or Confusion. Higher consciousness or stagnation. Eliminate fear by taking conscious action and being your true self.

To eliminate the underlying low-vibration energies that manifest as fear and stress, practice the program I developed, Energy Center Clearing, described below…

Edwin Harkness Spina is an award-winning author and speaker. Ed is dedicated to presenting practical mystical techniques to improve people’s lives and expand their minds. His workshops and seminars emphasize the practical application of these techniques to help others manifest their dreams.

“Really big people are, above everything else, courteous, considerate and generous – not just to some people in some circumstances – but to everyone all the time.” –Thomas J. Watson

HGTV is apparently taking Paul James’ “Gardening by the Yard” program off the air. One of the few gardening shows on TV, Paul brings a mix of humor and education to the subject of gardening. He has the ability to entertain you as he teaches the many facets of gardening.

Make your feelings known to HGTV and their advertisers. Visit this blog for the addresses of sponsors and HGTV tomorrow and let them know what we want, quality gardening programming.

P.O. Box 360945, Strongsville, OH 44136, USA