Success and happiness are unarguably our Holy Grails, but the standards
taught to find them are all wrong. We have been brainwashed into
believing that the only way to achieve this elusive combination of success and
happiness is through setting goals. This is simply not true. In fact,
goal-setting is often the shortest route to discontentment. Fifty eight
percent of those I surveyed say that they are consciously sacrificing
today’s happiness in the belief that achieving their goals will bring
fulfillment. Sadly, 41 percent say that each goal achieved brings
little, if any, satisfaction, despite all the hard work. So, what do they do?
They set another goal. This creates a perpetual cycle of sacrifice and
disillusionment. What is the solution?

After interviewing hundreds of people and surveying thousands I
discovered that the most passionate, creative, and sometimes wealthiest people
live free from the burden of traditional goals. Instead, they have mastered
the rare skill of enjoying “now” rather than delaying gratification until
the future.

Goals are not inherently bad, but many individuals have an unhealthy
relationship with their goals, distorting this potentially helpful tool
into a surefire recipe for failure. Why?

* Quite often, the goals we chase are not our own. Fifty three percent
of those I surveyed feel that they are living their lives in a way that
satisfies others more than themselves. Whose life are you living?

* Goals can cause you to lose your peripheral vision. When you focus on
your goals, you are cutting off potentially greater opportunities from
emerging.

* Goals set you up for failure, say 74 percent of those surveyed,
conceding to disappointment and dissatisfaction when they are
unsuccessful in achieving their goals. In fact, 92 percent fail to achieve their New
Year’s resolutions. That is a lot of discontentment.

Goal-Free Living is liberating. It opens new possibilities typically
hidden from sight.

How does one embark on a more goal-free life? During my travels around
the world and after hundreds of interviews I discovered eight secrets for
living goal-free.

1. Use a compass, not a map–have a sense of direction (not a specific
destination), and then “meander with purpose.”

2. Trust that you are never lost–every seemingly wrong turn is an
opportunïty to learn and experience new things.

3. Remember that opportunïty knocks often but sometimes softly–while
blindly pursuing our goals, we often miss unexpected and wonderful
possibilities.

4. Want what you have–measure your life by your own yardstick and
appreciate who you are, what you do, and what you have…now.

5. Seek out adventure–treat your life like a one-time-only journey,
and
revel in new and different experiences.

6. Become a people magnet–constantly attract, build, and nurture
relationships with new people so that you always have the support and
camaraderie of others.

7. Embrace your limits–transform your inadequacies and boundaries into
unique qualities that you can use to your advantage.

8. Remain detached–focus on the present, act with a commitment to the
future, and avoid worrying about how things will turn out.

For each of these secrets, there are a number of tips for implementing
the
concept. Here are a few you can try today.

* Set “themes,” not “resolutions”–rather than set a resolution (i.e.,
a goal), choose one word to describe your next year. Choose something
that is bold and inspires you. Instead of losing 10 pounds, you could choose
“health.” “Relationships”–in the broadest sense–may work better for
you than “finding a boyfriend.” Any word will do: “grace,” “adventure,”
“serenity,” “play.”

* Use “could do” lists rather than “to do” lists–“to do” lists tend to
be draining as they are the things you feel you must do. “Could do” lists
contain those things that you want to do that inspire you. They keep
possibility in front of you. Keep your list of “could do” items large
and your list of “to do” items small.

* Change your filter. One creative way to “seek out adventure” is to
make
believe you are another person–an artist, a musician, or a doctor. It
doesn’t matter, as long as it is someone other than you. When you live
your normal day standing in the shoes of someone else, you will see
things you have never seen before.

* Appreciate the whole spectrum of life. Create contrasts to help you
appreciate where you are right now. Sleep in a tent and sleeping bag
versus always staying in a five-star hotel. Volunteer for a charity.
Take the bus to work. Eat at a greasy spoon diner. Swap jobs with someone
with a less glamorous assignment for a week. Experience the whole spectrum
of life.

The origin of the word “goal” comes from the Old English word for
“obstacles” or “a hindrance.” In order to achieve a goal, you must work
hard to overcome these barriers and roadblocks. Conversely, the origin
of the word “aspiration” is the same as the Latin word for “spirit” and
“inspire,” which means “to breathe into” or “panting with desire.”
Barriers or inspiration. Which would you prefer?