“Hello.”
“Are you the person that lost your dog?”
Right then I was flooded with emotions. Emotions that I keep bottled up. She gave me a phone number that I’m reserving for my daddy… he always knows what to say. I clicked back over and immediately told Ray and my momma. I was calm and black when I told them. Moms quickly said, “Why do they keep fuckin wit us?” Ray understand but everyone’s given up hope..except my daddy of course. I had to get off the phone. I felt choked up and began to cry and I couldn’t let Ray hear me like that again. Then all sorts of images filled my head..what ifs. It would make me too happy to see her again..chill wit her again. How I used to hold her like a baby, sing to her, rub her head..she was always there. That’s somethin I needed at that time and still do I miss it more than anyone could ever know. I see myself tryna replace it somehow. Not replace but find somethin like it or better. It’s been one year and I haven’t found anything that comes close. I haven’t let go of the lil faith I have but damn. This couldn’t have come at a better time. When you’re down, you get kicked. And all I can think is what if.